Redemption - by Tenth Muse Top
Posted by Chross
‘…nothing in nature is unbeautiful…’
…She was dark haired, dark eyed
Oh such dark eyes! A single glance at them
will govern a whole life from birth to death,
Careless of all things - led with light
In trances and in visions…
Marianne caught her breath. Yes – there it was– the sound of Ryn’s pushbike coasting down the road.
She’d been waiting for this sound all day– dumb as it might seem – as Ryn never came back till well after five. She heard quick, sharp braking and the soft tread of steps as her girlfriend dismounted while still coasting up to the garage door. Last Friday, the braking had been with her usual flair: a splatter of gravel and bounding dismount. Now today, Monday: this restraint.
Everything’s changed. I changed it.
Marianne’s eyes pricked with tears.
She heard the click of the internal garage door which led into the kitchen, and the tap running. I should go to her… say something. Marianne looked down at her hands, still holding the entrance papers she had been grading all afternoon. They were trembling. Carefully, she slid the papers into a manila folder and picked up her briefcase.
“Hey.” Ryn was by the door, holding a fresh towel, her long frame leaning against the wooden post. Tanned from the sun and glowing from her bike ride, she almost lit up the space around her.
“Hey yourself!” Marianne looked up brightly – perhaps too brightly. “How was your day?”
There was no returning smile. The brunette’s dark eyes gave nothing away.
“Usual. I’m gonna take a shower.” Ryn turned away, already heading towards the bathroom.
“Wait - wait!” Marianne dropped the folder into the case and rushed after her.
Ryn paused and half-turned. “Uh-huh?” It was said over her shoulder.
“And then, will you…. uh…… will you?” In spite of all the promises she had made to herself since breakfast, Marianne was pleading.
Her partner turned, leaning against the wall with one shoulder this time, her legs crossed. Marianne did not have the courage to touch her, so she held out her hands instead, in a plea to her lover. Ryn just looked at them.
“What, Anni? Will-I-what?” Her voice was soft, not unkind, but it discouraged further approach.
Marianne flushed scarlet, feeling just like one of her teens in detention. Her lover folded her arms and waited. Her dark eyes were now filled with a darker fire. Anger.The type of anger born out of hurt and betrayal.
Anni swallowed. Could only just look at her.
“S….Spank me?” Her breath was ragged with emotion. “Please, Ryn?”
Ryn snorted, pushing off from the wall, turning to go.
“Please, Honey! Why won’t you?” Marianne touched her arm.
She couldn’t quite see, but were there tears in Ryn’s eyes too?
Briefly, a gentle hand brushed hers before Ryn walked away.
“Because I am too fucking furious with you.”
The bathroom door shut quietly: the sound of the lock snapping into place effectively ending the conversation.
In the shower, water running down her body, Ryn wept silently. The other side to her exuberant physicality was a diffident and, some would say, ‘difficult’ reserve. Her nature was to keep her emotions, like her private life, to herself. She thought Marianne knew that. Thought she understood. When they first met, Anni’s ability to just somehow know her had given her life a kind of emotional logic. She felt nurtured… and subtly recognized. So how come Anni did not get that this betrayal was like a door slamming inside? Slamming shut inside of Ryn? Leaning her head on the cool tiles, her palms pressed against the ceramic, Ryn allowed a whole weekends’ grief to wash over her.
…Thou art the light,
To which my spirit leaneth all her flowers,
And length of days, and immortality
Of thought, and freshness, ever self-renewed…
Marianne sat next to the French windows and buried her face in her hands, trying not to cry. In the three years she’d known Aeryn Gallo, things had never even been close to being this bad.
The worst thing is – it is all my fault.
Their domestic discipline arrangement had always worked out before: most rules between them were not just mutual and consensual; they were largely and continually negotiable.
Sometimes, because she needed to, she’d pushed Ryn up against them and been left bending over the bed in the spare room, her bottom ablaze from the judicious soft-leather paddling she had just received. Her partner would leave her there to think about it…. For a while… if she could… for as long as she could…She smiled to herself…. Before she came back and… Tingles spread over Anni’s skin.
Sometimes a rule, half-forgotten and mostly laid to rest, had got her ambushed, given a very severe, but often very funny, talking to, and then spanked over Ryn’s knee and always, it seemed, they made love. Marianne sighed.
Oh – and then – there were the occasional, and relatively rare, ‘hard rules’: ones that, once agreed, were entirely serious. Breaking one of these was never intentional (well not since after the first time) and Aeryn’s strong, disciplined guidance had quite simply helped her turn her approach to life around. They would talk (and talk and talk and talk) and then Ryn would take her to task for giving up on herself, with the most intense and loving of spankings and still eventually in the middle of the night, her ass burning, but her heart light and free, the sex was passionate and tender, holding each other afterwards as they drifted into sleep. Being with Ryn had shown her that she could be deeply happy in life.
Even then, later, Ryn usually checked that she was okay – and any niggling doubts she had over a session would be talked about while they were wrapped in each other’s arms – or more formally with space between them – if Ryn was really worried. Then she, Anni, would have to do the reassuring. Tears started to course down Marianne’s cheeks.
Her love could hardly bear to look at her.
But most times, it had been easy: easy going, easy to embrace, easy to feel the most special and loved person on the planet. She adored her lover – and she knew Ryn adored her too.
Until now. Until - oh God– what have I done? Ryn seemed to be already on the verge of leaving.
There were rules…and then there were boundaries. She wasn’t a kid, for cryin’ out loud, she knew that. She knew the difference between a rule and those special, sacred areas neither crossed with the other. Marianne might as well have taken a bulldozer to her partner’s ring-fenced privacy. She’d driven right through the holy of holies and out the other side, drunk, in public and at a party, full of Ryn’s oldest, childhood friends. It had taken her such a long time to coax Ryn beyond the scars left by her past, to build up the trust, and now she had probably sent her right back there again.
Crying deeply, Anni was not aware the shower had stopped, or that Ryn, now dried and dressed in her soft lapis blue shirt and faded jeans, was kneeling before her.
“An-ni…. Heyyy…Shhhhhh…C‘mon….” She pulled Marianne into her arms.
Gently, her hands were eased from her face. Ryn brushed her tears and wrapped her tighter in the embrace. Marianne buried her head in her shoulder.
“Plea-se… if you won’t spank me then….We won’t surv…Couldn’t you just do it?”
Ryn rocked her, stroking her hair and holding her closer.
“I can’t, Babe. I just can’t. It’s bigger than that. Anyway, I cannot spank you when I’m angry.”
With a judder, Marianne stopped crying. “But why? It’d make you feel better and I deserve it – I–”
Ryn guided her back into the chair and cupped her cheek, her thumb still brushing away tears.
“Hush now – I told you – I am too mad. And it won’t ‘make me feel better,’ Anni, okay? We talked about this.” Seeing the brimming tears she softened.“Now look… It’s been a long day and we’re both tired and I, for one, am hungry – and even if you’re not, you still gotta eat, okay? So let‘s just go get some dinner.”
Dinner had been a quiet affair, interrupted by phone calls: work for Ryn. Anni’s Mom. Now Ryn’s friend, Baz, from her horticultural college days. In the other room, Anni could hear her lover’s soft, deep voice laughing at something.
As if she doesn’t have a care in the world!
Marianne stood by the sink, slowly washing up with precise, hurt movements. All day long her panic and grief had eaten away at her: all day she’d thought about it. She’d explained, hadn’t she?
I had one too many. I was out of order. I have never done anything like that before! I thought it was time we showed your friends who we really are – they still think I’m just another one of your production-line-partners – move-‘em-in-and-move-‘em-out – and if you won’t tell them –
She banged the saucepan down on the draining board, “GODDAMM!” Lids crashed onto the floor and she dropped them back into the bowl, to be re-washed, with too much force so the water splashed her just increasing her frustration.
“Yes….?” Ryn must have returned, without her hearing. Marianne did not bother to turn round.
“Nothing! You know what – just – just nothing!” She over-soaped the lids… then got wet rinsing them off again.
Ryn made a sound: one of those familiar soft sounds from deep within her which was light and infuriatingly non-committal. Marianne could just sense her leaning against the wooden worktop behind her.
Arms crossed again, probably in her defensive, ‘I’m bloody in-control’ posture.
“Actually –Ryn– it’s too much! OKAY– I should not have told them that I let you spank me – ONCE – I only said ONCE, you know?! I KNOW I shouldn’t have done that. But they were all drunk, Honey, and it was so dark outside, they won’t remember it and…”
“…Not so dark that I couldn’t see your eyes clearly looking into mine before you said it, across the fire. You knew what you were doing.”
Ryn watched Marianne furiously scrubbing the last pan. Water and foam splashed everywhere and her shoulders were constricted with upset, while her butt cheeks echoed her movements. Ryn loved that womanly, curvy butt. So…mmm…peachy!Aeryn was vaguely aware that she should not be thinking about Anni’s butt right at this particular moment in time, but her girlfriend was just… just so lovely and she seemed to be vigorously washing up with her entire body. It was very distracting – and Ryn liked to find distractions which stopped her from getting too deeply into her own emotions. She loved how Marianne wore slacks that were almost Hepburn-like: tight across the cheeks, with flowing looser legs. Right now, she thought irreverently, that butt is working up a storm.
Marianne banged the saucepan down on the draining board, “I wasn’t thinking, I was feeling, I wanted to be a part of it, I wanted to belong-”
“What?” Aeryn couldn’t help herself, once riled, she would not – could not – let it go. “By telling the whole world our private business? When I told you – that crowd – no way can they understand it? Why do you think I only see them a couple of times a year? Marianne: they are conservative with a big and small ‘C' and all the sizes in between and belonging with them is something I find crazy uncomfortable these days, so I don’t want them knowing about my stuff. We agreed on that the very first time you met them. It was the deal – it was the deal and you broke it.” Ryn’s voice was actually shaking.
Anni picked up the tea towel, still keeping her back turned to her lover.
It hurt too much to look at her now.
Her own voice caught roughly. “You, Ryn… I wanted to belong to… you. But you won’t have that, will you? You gotta keep your cool, keep yourself to yourself… It’s so …hard…What am I? Who the hell am I – to you?”
She couldn’t see the washing up anymore: the world had become blurry with tears. Instead, she let out a single high sob which seemed to come from deep within her contorting body. Her hands gripped the sink as she clutched it, weeping, oblivious of everything, including Ryn.
Ryn’s hands were sliding around her waist, holding her, pulling her back to be cradled by her body. Breath against her neck preceded a whisper of a kiss. Just a feather-light touch of a kiss, but a kiss which transformed her senses from grief to breathless shivers.
Her nipples stood on end, along with every hair on her body, and her sobs became a gasping struggle just to breathe as the lips connected to the skin beneath her ear, fleetingly nibbled her lobe, before returning to ravish her neck. Anni was now so completely turned on that she could only respond, not think, and Ryn’s hands were sliding up, over and around her breasts. Hands which knew, which always knew, just how to love her, just how to caress and tease her. Just how to drive her frickin’ wild. Ryn’s warmth and strength held her against her body, owning her completely.
She was being turned around, and she moved quickly to cup Ryn’s head at the nape of her neck, kissing her lover like it was the very first time they’d kissed. She tried to speak, but Ryn was kissing her, then kissing her tears sweetly and her lips passionately. Her tongue began teasing Anni’s lips, meeting her tongue.
She was being pushed up against the side, hips kneading her hips – their hands everywhere, undressing each other. Ryn’s lips found the place on her neck which knew only one sensation…want…
“Wait… wait.” Marianne managed to hold Ryn off… managed to stop the kiss she so wanted to lose herself in… “Wait. Why this… Why now?”
Ryn pulled her closer, but her dark eyes held Anni in their softness.
“Because, whatever we are, Anni – it’s about the love, first.” She kissed her gently. “Everything we are, Darling, it’s always about love first.”
Heart beating time to heart, lip pressing lip,
Folding each other, breathing on each other
Dreaming together, till the morning light
Sloped thro’ the pines, upon the dewy pane
Falling, unseal’d our eyelids, and we woke
To gaze upon each other.
Daylight poured through the pale blue curtains of their bedroom. Next door, the dog was barking at the lawnmower service man. Anni opened her eyes. It was not the noise outside which had woken her; nor could she be sure when in the night Ryn had opened the window. She lay, head nestled against her lover’s shoulder, blinking. What had brought her fully awake, with a sharp indrawn breath, was the sensation of her partner’s fingers idly tracing patterns on her buttocks. Delicious, electric little patterns. Marianne felt her nipples hardening. Sweetness waking her up, tingling coursing through her body.
“Ohhhhhh….” She looked up at Ryn, whose eyes, she suddenly realized, were filled with an altogether tougher kind of promise.
A very different sensation shot down her spine. Fear. Damn.
“Good Morning.” Ryn leaned down to kiss her, and then sank back into the pillows. The fingers continued to torture Anni’s skin – so light, so erotic, so very different to what, Anni felt sure, was to come. Even so, her vulva contracted longingly.
“Oh God.” Anni swallowed.
“Mmm-mm. Today’s the day, Darling. I already took time off work and you can catch up on your grading later. Maybe, I’ll let you have a cushion for your chair... But you’re gonna get that spanking you asked for and you’re gonna get it this morning.”
Anni felt her eyes brighten with tears of relief. She felt both aroused… and scared. Crap. There was something about Ryn’s energy, her steeliness, usually just enough under the surface to be kinda hot, was now resolutely present, assuring Anni that they were very much in ‘hard rule’ territory. It made her heart miss a beat. She kissed Ryn’s shoulder, trying to communicate her feelings though her lips. Maybe we can make love again, first? Her kiss gave way to a little playful bite. Anything …to put off what was to come.
The fingers on her butt stilled and were replaced by a firm palm, gently cupping her cheek.
The mildest of threats.
Anni gave up trying to delay her fate and relaxed. She looked up submissively: humbly waiting for her partner’s instructions.
“11 a.m. In here. We’ll have breakfast… tidy up. You make the bed here, please. I have to check a couple of work mails, do a bit of remote desktop corrections to the design that I’m working on, but at eleven –sharp – I will expect you to be ready, presentable and waiting to be punished. I’m going to put you over my knee to begin with and you can expect to be there for some time, Marianne. I will decide on what implement I’m going to use later, but it can’t be just my palm, today. This is going to be stringent, Darling, I should warn you of that already.”
Ryn held her close, warm skin to warm skin. This would be their last loving cuddle until the punishment was over. Trembling, Anni returned the embrace.
I did not speak: I could not speak my love.
Love lieth deep: Love dwells not in lip-depths.
In the dining room, Ryn looked up from her laptop as Marianne passed by from the bathroom, the fragrance of her bath filling the hallway and her senses. Anni was wearing her burgundy silk robe - the one she only wore on certain occasions. Aeryn felt a responding heat in her body, remembering the last time she had slid that robe up over Anni’s buttocks, only to find matching burgundy lingerie lacily framing her lover’s peachy bottom.
That day, the spanking had been as much an erotic appreciation of her girlfriend’s taste in underwear as it had been punitive and – oh – it had been a thrillingly hot interaction. She recalled lacy textures as her palm ran over the knickers; Marianne shivering under her touch; how soft her cheeks had felt through the fabric as they reacted to the spanking and Anni bucking on her lap.
Her palm still felt alive to the memories: raspy lace and pliant cheeks and her heart melted as she remembered Anni’s responses. Ryn caught her breath: weakness and desire flooding her body.
Hell – that woman is sexy. That had been one of the best spankings ever.
She closed her eyes, feeling Marianne, fragrant and light, balanced across her lap, her proud bottom teasing her with its beauty. The recoil of softness through her palm and up her arm as the buttocks flinched beneath each spank… and both of them so turned on. Over her knee, Marianne was in turns submissive and penitent or naughty and playful. Submission got her silken strokes, teasing her desire; playful got her stingingly spanked, eventually bare bottomed, until they were both satisfied and released from all the pressures of a long working week.
With a start, Ryn opened her eyes, crossly.
Was that why Anni walked by like that just then? She had better not be wearing that lingerie this morning! That simply would not do at all. Anni was in serious trouble and lingerie would be an indication that she did not appreciate the gravity of her situation.
The hair dryer stopped, then, with a knowing little glance in her direction, Anni passed by the dining room door again, heading back into the bathroom.
Ryn refocused her gaze on the laptop screen, pretending she was working, while trying to calm her body down and her emotions with it. Quietly, she made herself contemplate what had happened – how shocked she had been at Marianne’s inexplicable behavior and her own overwhelming sense of betrayal. She wished she understood it better, because even though her anger was gone, it had been replaced with a devouring kind of confusion.
The only thing she knew for sure was that, unless they came to a resolution, something vital between them would be lost in her uncertainty and possibly their relationship along with it. Aeryn Gallo sighed and considered the facts: a hard rule broken; a promise not kept; Marianne just looking at her before she spoke. The alcohol was an excuse. Then there was how much she loved the woman and wanted their partnership to work and how annoyed she felt that Anni had apparently, knowingly, destabilized it.
“You’re not listening to me.”
Ryn sighed again and rubbed her eyes, hearing Anni’s voice as she had tried to explain. She thought about her lover’s remorse: how she had argued, explained, wept and begged to be forgiven. Begged to be punished… for this punishment. Would it work? She didn’t know – this was more personal than anything that had gone on between them before. But she was willing to try – damn, just thinking about Marianne, she was willing to try.
Her purpose settled, Aeryn leant back in her chair and thought about potential implements.
Seems, to the quiet daylight of your minds,
But cloud and smoke, and in the dark of mine
…Is traced in flame.”
Marianne stood in the middle of the bedroom, barefoot, head bowed in submission. Hands folded protectively in front of her, waiting.
The fact that Ryn had chosen their bedroom was good, right? Ryn was very location-specific with punishments. Very precise about details. So the bedroom meant love and sex, right? Meant not too bad, despite what she said this morning: “This is going to be stringent, Darling.” She was only scaring me a little. Wasn’t she?
Anni swallowed, trying not to tremble as she waited. She did not believe very much of this herself… Well maybe a little, but more out of a fool’s false hope.
The sound Marianne had been dreading made its way towards her: Aeryn walking lightly up the stairs. There was a slight creak of floorboards in the corridor. Silence.
She must have gone into the spare bedroom.
Anni strained, listening for her girlfriend’s movements, trying to gauge what implement she had chosen to spank her with. Her heart was thumping unnaturally hard in her chest. It made it very hard to hear. Instead, she considered past transgressions…
Once, having been forced to take late detention for a fifth week in a row, thus ruining their plans to spend time together, she had come home to find a pillow on one end of the dining room table and a bamboo cane resting across it. No dinner, just the cane and Ryn’s eyes looking up at her from the other end of the table where she had been drawing – and waiting – for her return.
So, when the Deputy Head’s memo came through to her on the following Monday, with the Detention Rota attached to it, she had immediately written back, “I’m sorry, but I am not available on that date.” It had only taken six strokes of the cane. The extra one was for ‘the uncommitted crime’ as Ryn had put it. It worked, boy had it worked– she’d rather be frowned at in the Teacher’s Room than sit through another school day on a hot plastic chair and the six stripes on her bottom consuming all hope of comfort.
The window in the spare bedroom was banged shut. That was what Ryn was doing. Not a good sign.
And when PMS got her all bad tempered and badly behaved, Ryn led her to the sofa and either put her over her knee there and then, smacking her over and over till she begged for forgiveness and sex, or laid her over the soft round end of the couch, her bare cheeks suffering the indignity of being ignored, except for regular swats with a leather paddle as Ryn passed by, still focused on her business, until she was ready to give Marianne the attention she had been craving… It was always worth the wait.
Marriane smiled, breathless.
So, the bedroom had to be –how did Aeryn put it? “About the love?” Oh Baby. Okay. I can handle that.
She jumped: the door handle, which she had been nervously watching, turned and then Ryn was appraising her from the doorway. Her countenance was both stern and impassive. Her hands – empty.
“Sorry to keep you.” Ryn’s soft voice was gentle, but firm. Anni bowed her head, timidly chewing her lower lip.
Ryn gestured. “Place the chair where you are standing, please.”
Swallowing, leaden feet slowing her down, but fearful shivers running up and down her sides, Anni went over to the contemporary dining room chair by the window. It seemed to be a vast distance across the room, yet it took no time at all to get there.
They only had the one: Ryn had spent weeks searching for a chair with the perfect dimensions; going into stores and taking out her tape measure to check the height of the seat. It had to be high enough so that when Aeryn took Anni across her knee and she was stretched out right, the latter was balanced on the fulcrum of her lap, dependent on Ryn’s strength and only minimal contact with the floor. Anni was still mortified, remembering the puzzled sales assistants asking why it was so important.
Shaking, she carried the chair back and placed it in the middle of the room, then stepped away and waited.
Ryn sat down, adjusting her jeans as she did so.
“Thank you. Will you kneel, Marianne?”
Anni obeyed, the silk fabric of her robe straining uncomfortably across her chest and waist. It constricted her breathing, making her feel hot and trapped. She felt Ryn’s fingertips gently caressing a lock of her hair back behind her ear. Such an intimate, lover’s touch. It made her feel so loved. Then they trailed under her chin, still a caress, but a caress which forced her to look up into the exacting dark eyes. The touch dropped away.
“You know why we are here, of course?”
She nodded, ashamed. “I’m sorry, I…”
“…Why?” Ryn’s expression became fierce.
“I broke a rule – a big rule. One you warned me about.” She felt tears welling up: now she was here, she did not know why she had done it herself. “I… told your friends you …have spanked me… and that… we…” she looked at Ryn’s tightening jaw and again felt afraid, “that…you… enjoyed it.” The last was a whisper.
Ryn’s eyes sparked, but her voice remained calm.
“Why did you do that, Marianne? You betrayed a confidence – my confidence.” Her body was tense.
“Because I was drunk – and stupid - and I wish I hadn’t! I AM sorry, Ryn. Please Ma’am. I am so sorry.” Marianne bowed her head, contritely, feeling complacently safe in the knowledge that her spanking would bring about forgiveness and then they could move on. It had been an emotional weekend – she needed to move on now. She didn’t want to think about it.
Aeryn sighed. Marianne still doesn’t get it… Oh well, one way or the other, I will find out what on earth was going through her head.
“Get up here, Anni.You can answer my questions just as easily over my knee. Maybe being spanked will help you to tell the truth.”
Blushing furiously, Anni stood. Ryn never talks to me like that!
Nonetheless, she took the strong hand offered her with her left hand, allowing herself to be guided over Ryn’s thighs. Ryn’s right hand reached up and took the tie of her robe and the back of her hand against Anni’s belly forced her to pause midway through the action of bending over. She balanced herself with her right hand on Ryn’s knee, waiting obediently. Her silk belt was loosened and tidied and then she was resolutely propelled over Ryn’s knees, one hand gathering her body in to Ryn’s body at her waist, one thigh rising up to tilt her further towards the floor– so that she had to stretch out both of her hands to catch herself and now Ryn’s palm was resting on her bottom.
In the stillness, Ryn’s hand just rested against her bottom.
Breathing irregularly, Anni waited for Ryn to begin, unsure as to her partner’s mood. The faint lemony scent of carpet cleaner irritated her lungs. She didn’t like it. Last month, she had felt so pleased with having cleaned the carpet, so she loved the scent, but today… today it annoyed her. She tensed her fingers in the pile, hating having to wait. What was Ryn doing?
“You really think it is so easy, don’t you?” Still Ryn’s palm touched her: its heat against her cheeks warming her vulva.
No, I don’t think it’s easy, but this is kinda nice. Anni’s breath caught in her chest.
“You think, ‘Oh, hey, Ryn’ll spank me and everything’ll be fine’– don’t you? Like you can do and get away with anything!?”
The first spanks over the silk were more like passing swats, moving the fabric; pleasantly, massaging her flesh. Anni frowned to herself. This is unexpected.
“You think, ‘Ryn can handle it, Ryn is strong' and…” A hefty smack made her right buttock flinch,“…I am, Marianne. Hell…” Again, a hefty smack landed on the other cheek, “…I am, but you crossed a line, Darlin’, and you will be here until either I understand why you did what you did, or I just lose faith in us. So you just think about your story here.” Ryn applied herself to lightly and evenly warming up her lover’s bottom.
Caught somewhere between tears which now, perversely, would not fall, love for her adored partner and panic at her words, Marianne cursed her body for deciding to respond sexually to this opening salvo.
Not now – God not now. I need to think! I need to answer her correctly.
Ryn was smoothing the silk over her cheeks, pulling the robe down so it stretched to just above her knees. The sensation was so sensuous, however, that it felt to Anni like the fabric was doing the very opposite and was in fact rising upwards, exposing her, getting her ready to open and receive wonderful, wholehearted sex. I wish.
Crap! Not now, for Chris’ sake – Don’t be an ass, Anni! Get a grip.
“Do you have anything to say for yourself, Marianne?”
“I can’t think when you treat me like this – you need to spank me harder and better!”
Infuriatingly, the palm was motionless against her butt cheeks again. Damn it!
“I beg your pardon?”
Anni kicked in frustration.
“Please – please – punish me properly!”
Ryn rested her hand on the writhing bottom, suddenly trying not to laugh. And yet, loving Marianne as she did, her girlfriend’s hopeless attitude broke through her isolation and now it was Ryn biting her lip, trying to not let Anni know she that she wanted to laugh.
Instead she decided to punish her in a different way. For now.
“Uh-huh. Harder… like this?” A flurry of light spanks showered Anni's bottom in a classic up-down movement. They were all erotic. This was going to drive Marianne insane. Her butt was ready, demanding to feel, dictating an urgent need for a real spanking and her emotions were right there with it, but all this did was fill her with thwarted tingling and painful need. And more upset too. She pushed her cheeks higher, trying to get Ryn’s attention.
“Or this?” Her robe was flipped up and the feeling of her thighs being swatted with a stinging, but fairly feeble intensity, from above her knees to below her cheeks, until they were pinking all over and smarting, but her buttocks were in an absolute agony of neglect almost causing her to rebel. I just want to be spanked on the bottom. Properly! Ryn smoothed the robe back down again, caressing her gently.
“You think you can control me?” All in good time, Marianne. Anni did not hear the undercurrent in her lover’s voice. She was too busy listening to her own disappointment.
Fuming, Marianne tried to wriggle off Ryn’s lap, though was so tightly held between a muscled arm and muscled thighs, that all she succeeded in doing was making her robe fall open, exposing one breast to the cool air.
A flurry of fierce spanks peppered her bottom. Her lungs filled quickly, in shock.
“Lie still! I am not finished with you yet – and you know it.”
“Sorry.” Anni did her unsuccessful best to not moan out loud, and was rewarded with a further smarting spank.
Breathless from her struggle and the rebellion in her body, Anni started. Ryn’s fingertips were reaching for the hem of her robe.
She knew what this meant. Her bottom was suddenly feeling the swats, and so, just as suddenly, she was not so sure about any of this. At all. Ryn is in an odd mood – maybe we should postpone the rest till she feels better?
The words refused to be spoken because Ryn was already preparing her for … the rest.
Her tingling thighs were re-exposed by the silk sliding upwards followed by the familiar rush of cool air over her bottom. Her robe was lifted and smoothed to frame her waist, leaving her hips, buttocks and everything else, vulnerable. Goosebumps ran riot all over Anni’s skin.
Aeryn paused to consider her girlfriend’s choice of knickers: pink ruched-back hiphuggers. She smiled to herself, aware of the gift of them to her and how Anni had judged the situation perfectly. Now would not be the time to mention it, however.
A reddening blush colored the roundness not covered by cotton. Her work. Repeating the teasing from the morning, Aeryn ran her fingertips over Anni’s skin in little circles, tormenting her partner further, while waiting for the pain to ease.
“So,” Her voice was mild, “I’m not sure I have your respect, as yet, Anni – which is a bit of a shock.”
Anni knew that tone, it was quite simply dangerous. Trying to stay still, all she managed to do was kick her legs, squeezing everything together in frustration.
“You do have my respect! Of course I respect you!!!”Her tone conveyed her frustration.
The fingers found her waistband and ran along the top of her hips, promising total nudity very soon.
“We’ll see. Toes on the floor, Darling.” Anni obeyed, gasping.
Her panties were lowered gently; precisely, making her bottom bare. Ryn’s hands lifted her hips this way and that, in order to free the fabric, so Anni’s mons had to press several times onto the denim thighs. Now, with her knickers just above her knees, her body was completely eroticized and this helped Marianne’s attitude in no way whatsoever. Somehow, she forgot the traumas of the weekend; they just paled in comparison to her impatience.
God! I wish she would get on with this! This is–
Ryn’s palm began to smack her butt in the same place over and over. Sting after little sting, after little sting. It resulted in one tantalizing hot spot.
“You wanna tell me why you did that, Anni? Why you told them?”
“Ohh… God! Because I could, okay!? I did it because I could!”
The palm changed target, leisurely spanking around and around Anni’s warming bottom. Taking the heat to the next level. Ryn was in no hurry. Now she was here, she was going to take her time and give her errant girlfriend exactly what she had asked for – and she might as well enjoy herself. To be fair, it would be hard not to.
“Even though you knew it would hurt me?” The slaps to Anni’s sit spot were repetitive. Anni winced, minutely, with each one.
“Yes! YES! Okay? God – Ryn, could you just stop fooling around with this!?”
Ryn paused to gently tease the pink cheeks. Her fingers trailed between them and Anni instinctively lifted herself towards them… encouragingly. Moaning, she felt her bottom being compelled by Ryn’s hand back onto the denim thigh, before her palms on the carpet pushed her ass back upwards. The friction was sweet torture.
“Yeah?” Ryn gave the raised ass a few unhurried upward swats. “And do what?”
She could see the sting landing in the flesh, so went back to silkily stroking with her fingertips to allow Anni to rest – and to elicit an answer out of her girlfriend.
“And – FUCK me – OR – SPANK ME! For cryin’ out loud! Ryn!” Anni kicked her legs in temper.
“Fuck you?” Ryn laughed. “Jesus, Marianne– have I taught you nothing?”
The palm set off again, landing painfully hard, rhythmic spanks which fiercely covered Marianne’s ass.
“I guess you’d like cream buns for tea too, huh Darling? Along with the sex an’ spanking?”
“How’s this?” Both cheeks were roasted with lightening quick, open-palmed swats.
“Ow! Ow! Ow! Okay – Ow! Okay! That hurts!”
“Yup.” Ryn returned to caressing the rosy bottom.
Marianne squirmed in frustration, but the spanks had become a lot harder. Aeryn had her attention now. It was all just so confusing… Better play along.
“Well… Now that you mention it…”
“No. No. No.” Spanks jolted her butt, in rhythm with the words.
“Anni – I am not going to ‘fuck ‘you, as you so delicately put it. I am, however, going to tan your hide – and this ..” her palm delivered a stream of burning spanks alternating between her cheeks, “is not what I would call ‘fooling around,’ either. It isn’t even your proper spanking, yet. Will you quit wriggling around! It is time you took this seriously.”
This time, the spank to her right cheek was tremendous. Ferocious, even. Marianne’s legs kicked out as a pure reflex.
“Quit wriggling!” Anni’s left cheek rang out with a similar delivery.
“Ouch! Ouch! Okay - okay! I’m lying still, look – see?” Despite her best intentions, Anni’s rosy buttocks had a mind of their own and they still bounced perkily on Aeryn’s thigh.
Even though it was inappropriate, Ryn laughed to herself. She was driving Marianne mad– and she wanted to. Besides, a part of her did not want to get to the serious business of the real spanking. Not yet. Somewhere deep inside, Ryn was anxious about it.
“Yeah, I can see that. You’re being real still, aincha? Ha!” A final ferocious whack across both cheeks suddenly signaled a change in her intentions.
Better get to it.
“Why in the utter stillness of the soul
Doth questioned memory answer not?”
Aeryn was somber again. All humor gone.
“Okay, Darlin. You want serious? I think you’d better stand now please.”
Anni obeyed, her heart in her mouth, her eyes failing to meet her partner’s stern gaze while her knickers were slid down her legs to the floor for her. Her bottom was really stinging: warmed up, radiating heat…and the expressionless determination coming off Ryn was scary as fuck.
Anni regretted having been so stupid while over Ryn’s knee – how could she have forgotten all the rows of the weekend and her terror that Ryn might be about to leave her?
What is wrong with me?
Ryn was in absolute control now, which somehow just made Anni’s compliance feel all the more agonizing, even though she longed to completely embrace it. She would obey, she already knew she would give herself up for what was to follow. She was regretting being so adamant about getting this spanking. Feeling Ryn’s insistent hand taking hers, she stepped out of her panties, then stood waiting while the tie of her robe was undone and removed, leaving the garment to fall open. Almost ritually, within herself, she was surrendering her autonomy, eyes cast down in obedience, but still winded with fear.
Ryn guided her over to the bed – at this point she would allow no resistance and Anni knew better than to offer any, even if she had wanted to. Her partner sat on the edge of the mattress and took her firmly over her left knee, positioning her so that Anni’s upper body was being guided across the mattress, but her arms and head went over the corner of the bed. Only the toes of one foot touched the floor. In this position, she was completely helpless.
Ryn swiftly lifted the robe free of Anni’s buttocks and then brought her right leg down over Anni’s legs, effectively immobilizing her.
“Palms on the floor, Darling. I want your butt stretched tight, just for me.”
Anni had lowered herself carefully. She knew the carpet so well, she knew just how to hold her weight with her hands on it, so that she didn’t make them sore – and she also knew she hadn’t got her position right; her breath was being cut into by her lover’s muscled thigh. “Sorry…Ma’am.”She pulled against Ryn’s leg and, feeling the tension released, re-lowered herself so that when the pressure was re-applied she was trapped in a lock between Ryn’s legs– her bottom now raised and displayed completely.
Just as my Top wants me. Ryn only uses this position for serious transgressions.
Anni was shivering. There was little comfort in the support from mattress; the entire point of this position was her upturned ass.
Now she was here, she was deeply relieved. Her punishment had arrived, and with it her redemption – and she was glad about that. The fact that she was being punished at all was so important to her that she felt tears of gratitude beginning to fall down her cheeks.
“Thank you, Ma’am.” Her voice choked. “Ryn.” She whispered, “Thank you, Ryn.”
For a moment, Ryn just held her.
The palm on her bottom let her know that finally, four days after she had nearly wrecked their relationship, Ryn was about to make sure she never did anything so stupid again. Spankings like this were terrifying – there was no safety, no laughing, teasing, diversionary escape. There was her bare bottom, her willing submission, her punishment – and Ryn. Ryn’s expertise taking her through fire. Ryn, who always got it right.
“Darling, you know I love you.” Her lover’s voice was deep and soft.
“I love you too!”
“I know you do … It’s going to be the wooden paddle, Baby. Has to be. You understand?”
“Y…Yes.” Even in her relief, she was scared now, so scared she was shivering again. She felt sick. Her butt in the air was the perfect target – she deserved this…but…even so.
Ryn leant back and retrieved the three-quarter length walnut spanker from beneath the counterpane - where she had hidden it earlier. She felt its weight in her hand, adjusting her balance to compensate so she could control it properly. She’d been paddled at school, so understood how much damage the full-size one could do and it was with a heavy heart that she would apply this bespoke version now to Marianne’s quivering bottom. This was not the light bamboo stinger (which was a lot of fun) because they both knew that this had to be done right – and it would be.
Fine-tuning her position, Ryn placed the paddle against Anni’s skin, taking her time to breathe and relax. Her left hand almost caressed Anni’s waist, as she gently, but firmly let her girlfriend feel how she was now physically controlled.
Anni felt the cool kiss of the wood. Knew that her cheeks were being assessed. Ryn always did this –determining each strike with meticulous attention. Her breath caught in time to its sensuous touches.
“Oh, and Anni?”
“You know when I said that ‘I’m not mad at you anymore’ and that ‘I never spank in anger’?”
The paddle landed with venom. Once. Right across the heart of her soft cheeks. She cried out. Her legs bucked, but with no room for movement, the energy went the other way so that she lost her position, her hands slipping, her arms nearly collapsing. Pain shot through her bottom.
Anni bit back the cry, gasping, trying to steady herself. It so was awkward over the corner of the bed like this!
Her partner waited while she regained her position, forcing her hands to hold herself up; the shock of the swat careering through the rest of her body.
“You will brace yourself better this time.”
Ryn watched the stripe redden across Marianne’s cheeks. Her left arm tightened. “Relax your body, though, you’re too tense.” Anni did as asked, letting her head sink down again, so she was naturally presented for the next swat. She felt the paddle rest against her cheeks, and she was quaking now, as it began to lightly tap her buttocks again.
“Honey,” Ryn’s voice was hard, “I’m not just angry with you - I am furious with you.” A second swat was brought down firmly above the first with a deafening slap. Marianne’s hips jolted against Ryn’s thigh and the shock of a third quick swat wrenched the air from her lungs. Scalding pain was spreading everywhere, all across her ass.
“Owww! Owww – Owwwww!”
“You looked me in the eye…” Ryn was holding the paddle now against her sit spot. She began to tap the delicate flesh lightly, focusing all Anni’s attention on it and letting her know that this was the place that the real crime would be visited on.
“You looked me in the eye, Anni…” Tap. Tap. Tap. She was practising her wrist-flick for this one…even the taps stung.
The fourth swat effectively completed the coverage. Marianne’s bottom, breath and mind - all were caught in one consciousness – the fire of the paddle. She lurched back upwards, crying out.
“Ow– God– Ow, I know I did!”
“And you just…” the paddle whacked her below her sit spot across her thighs and then blistered each cheek separately.
“Went ahead and opened your mouth and…” These swats were hard and around the fleshy sides of her cheeks. Anni hollered.
“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! Ryn – I am so sorry!”
Ryn paused, looking down at the tender marks. They were changing color before her eyes, the flesh turning into a uniform crimson. She let Anni rest for a few minutes. I am not done yet, no way am I done yet – Anni asked for this and wants my forgiveness and to give it I have to be sure that, when it is done, it is really done.
“It’s not that you made a mistake, Marianne, I can forgive that.” She put the paddle on the bed and her fingers caressed the burning skin in idle, loving, intimate touches. “It’s that you knew – you KNEW–” her palm slapped Marianne’s burning bottom again and again. “You knew as you looked at me…” Marianne was gasping loudly. “…What you were doing!”
The spanking stopped, but Anni just kept on taking in lungful’s of air.
“Owwww!…” Mercy! I don’t think I can cope with this!
“DIDN’T you?” She whacked both cheeks, hard.
“ALRIGHT!!! I did! I fucking did – alright? I knew what I was doing – I was just so pissed off with you!”
There was stillness. Ryn frowned.
“You were? What about?”Anni could hear real surprise in her voice.
When Marianne did not reply, she pinched a cheek gently. “What were you pissed about, Marianne?” Ryn slapped the red bottom, twice, hard enough to elicit an immediate response.
“Beth! Beth – okay? You spent hours talking to her out on the porch and I was pissed at you!”
Ryn rubbed the hot ass, thoughtfully. This was nonsense – such nonsense that she’d forgotten about it.
“You were jealous?” Aeryn picked up the paddle again – she did not need a reply, but she sure as hell was going to get one. Raising it, Anni already flinching before it could land -
“YES! Yes – okay? I was – OWWWWWW Fuck! Fuck!” The blazing swat was terrible. It was repeated.
Anni fought now, trying to get away, knowing it was the last thing she would be able to do – she was trapped between Ryn’s thighs and the paddle was licking her solidly, with that wristy powerful slapping style Ryn had perfected just for her and nothing she could do would make it stop.
“Damn it, Marianne, how could you be so childish!?”
Marianne’s tears began to flow freely – the deep acid tears of genuine remorse. The tears of finally having told the truth. She squirmed, trying to kick against the leg which pinned her down, but this only exhausted her, so she grabbed at Ryn’s knee pityingly, which had no effect, and all the while, Ryn was steadily, rhythmically, swatting her bottom, pop after pop, with the dreadful scalding paddle.
“You spoke out of turn to my friends because of that?!”
Her ass was a furnace, unbearably burning out of control – she was way, way out of control – and her partner’s silence, the lack of any further admonishment and the unrelenting paddle became one single experience of torment, utterly overwhelming Marianne. She collapsed, giving up the fight, continuing to receive the swats in complete submission.
This was awful – she couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Could only feel the spread of fire racing into her soul, blanking out thought, leaving the anguish of being thoroughly, deservedly spanked. She was so ashamed.
“Please Ryn, please Ryn, please – I’m sorry – Ma’aaam…Ryn.” Anni wept.
The paddle in her hand, Ryn caught herself – Anni had had enough and she knew it. It was done, but something inside of her was now genuinely seething - they had nearly split up over this stupid, petty jealousy? The door which had slammed shut inside her had been flung open and her fury was pouring out of her.
She brought the paddle down much harder than she should have and watched Marianne’s cheeks recoil from its power, then again and again – three final, excruciating swats landed before she came to her senses.
Anni was beside herself, sobbing: beyond all words and touches. Her hand clung to Ryn’s knee, the other no longer trying to hold her up, clutched at the sheet.
“God – I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”
Tears trickled down Ryn’s face too. “Here.” She gathered Anni into her arms and lay her down on the bed, cuddling her, rocking her, weeping with her.
“It’s okay, Darling, it’s done. Forgiven… it’s over.” In her heart, she knew it wasn’t. It couldn’t be.
Anni was weeping so convulsively that she was choking, coughing, grabbing at Ryn’s shirt, her forehead pressed into her chest.
“Whoa, whoa. Breathe – breathe. Take a breath… Darling please – God.” Ryn was shocked at herself and genuinely worried for the woman she loved. How the hell could I have done that?
Eventually, they sat holding each other in silence…Just breathing. Weeping. Kissing whatever skin was available without breaking the embrace.
“I don’t want to lose you.” Anni looked up at her through tears which still welled slowly and ran down her face. “When you go silent and cold like that – I – it’s like losing you. I don’t recognize you.”
A thumb tried to dry the tears, but there were too many.
“Yeah… I know… I gotta do something about that. I’ll try, okay? I‘m sorry too… For being so cold when you are hurting. For closing down on you.”
“’k.” Anni buried her face in the soft cotton of Ryn’s shirt. The cuddling changed, became nuzzly, nips gave way to kisses. “I’m sorry about Beth.”
Ryn stroked her back, softly. Sunlight through the window drifted across the room in geometric rays. The dust floating trapped within, was lit up and golden.
“Bloody hell, Anni! You wanna know what that was about?”
Burying her face, ashamed, Anni mumbled, “No, that’s okay. It is not necessary for you to tell me.”
She was hugged tighter as Ryn just rolled her eyes to herself.
“Pseudomonas Andropogonis– a disease of the bougainvillea vine. Beth had me pinned down and talking shop. Do you wanna know how much I would have liked you to come over and rescue me?”
Anni looked up, almost, but not quite, disbelieving. “How much?”
Aeryn laughed, leaning down to kiss her softly, noticing how Anni winced at the movement.
“A. Lot. Let me get you some ice, okay? Let’s see to you now. Anni – I love you.” Concern and guilt marked her face as she sped away downstairs to the kitchen.
Marianne lay back on the bed. Goddamn, my ass is on fire. But she had never cried during a spanking like that before, never felt such massive release – and weirdly never really fully realized just how much Ryn loved her....She frowned, not happy that this is what it took to get there .…Yet..…Something was up…Ryn…is …acting weird.
Ryn returned with ice wrapped in a long towel. She seemed …almost shy. Kneeling, she arranged the towel methodically, concentrating just on it.
“Will you sit on the edge of the bed, Darling – on this…” She steadied Anni onto the cold towel.
“Ohhhhh… Jesus wept…” Relief and coolness washed through Marianne… “Good… That is so good!”
Ryn laughed, still kneeling, a slight blush coloring her expression.
“It’s better… if you…” she coughed, “spread your legs…You know – get that butt nice and massaged by the ice...”
She looked up into Marianne’s beautiful, knowing expression, a question in her eyes.
“Uh-huh. You mean… like this?”
Marianne parted her thighs, slowly, moaning at the cooling touch of the ice to her burning bottom. She watched Ryn looking at her intimately, saw her breath shortening.
“You are so beautiful.” There was fire in those dark eyes and desire.
Hot juices trickled from her, running down onto the cool towel. Anni moaned again and saw the effect of the moan on her kneeling lover. Breathless, Ryn slid her hands up along Anni’s thighs, parting them further, opening her wider so the cool air teased her. Lips kissed curls.
“I love you, Marianne.”A deeper, closer, kiss.“Lie back, Babe.”
Anni sank back onto her elbows, bringing her feet up onto the edge of the bed, watching love and lust animate Ryn’s face, their eyes locked on each other, until both were lost, eyes closed, as Ryn’s tongue began to love her, worshipping every fold, beginning to tease her clit. Anni collapsed into the mattress, moaning.
Bursting with love, Ryn kissed around the sweet vulva, flicking her tongue so it teased between folds, sweeping up to work its magic.To Anni, it felt as though electricity was connecting the tip of Ryn’s tongue to every shiver she had ever felt, taking the juices, taking the heat, and the cold, the burning, and the sweet, sweet emotions in each stroke and steadily building them till Marianne was raising herself off the bed and Ryn’s hands were underneath her, massaging her buttocks in rhythm with her tongue and she was crying out with an animal passion and coming so hard that her tears began to fall again.
After a while, Ryn heard Anni’s voice.
“Ryn, Honey – would you mind telling me what you are still doing down there? Get up here and hold me!”
“I can’t, Darling.” Ryn kissed her thigh softly.
“What?” Anni made it to back onto her elbows.“Why?”
What the hell is that guilty look about?
Overtaking the flush of sex, Ryn blushed deep red. She sat back on her knees, shame marking her expression.
“I’m sorry. I meant it. Marianne, I went too far. Those last three swats hurt you so much…I was out of control and I should not have continued– I really should not have done that to you.”
…I was led mute
Into her temple, like a sacrifice;
I was the High Priest in her Holiest Place,
Not to be loudly broken in upon.
Even in her post-orgasmic haze, Anni knew this was serious. She watched Ryn as she considered what had happened. In truth, her ass was going to hurt for more than a few days… But this was a rule too, set so long ago and never before an issue, that she had forgotten all about it. She frowned at Ryn.
“Yeah, okay. So… why did you lose it? What was that about?”
“Anger… I was angry. I mean – I wasn’t – you know, when I said I was ‘furious?’ I was not angry then, I promise. I was just… winding it up a little… but then… when you said that thing about… about…” She hesitated, staring at the carpet.
It was a statement, not a question. Marianne sat up, taking Ryn’s cheek in her hand. “When I said that thing about Beth….” She repeated leading Ryn on. “Look at me, Ryn.”
“Yeah… I .. God, I’m sorry.” Ryn began to cry. “I spanked you out of real anger and then I hit you. Those last three swats. I was wrong to do that. I can’t believe I did.” She faltered, afraid.
By her own rules, by her own sense of justice, of common sense, Anni should just leave her now. Or tell her to get out. If she told her to leave – Ryn would. She’d pack her bags and go.
Eyes closed, tears ran down Ryn’s face.
Anni could feel her own anger rising. Aeryn was right. That was all wrong… well sort of. But… more than anything else, it was also an opportunity.
She leant back and let Aeryn stew as she thought about it. There were two issues, at least, two sides to this. During the spanking, for all it had been severe, Marianne hadn’t reached her own limit where she’d actually felt she needed it to stop. She was as close as dammit, but she was pretty sure if she had said ‘stop,’ Ryn would have ceased spanking her, no matter the territory. And then there was Ryn. Ryn out of control with anger and going beyond her own code, so that she did not know if Marianne was alright. In Ryn’s mind, it was abuse…and Marianne knew she would have to look at that.
Still, the question–why had Ryn suddenly gotten so angry–was burning before her; flickering, like a lantern flame up ahead, calling her attention. She had heard Ryn called ‘angry’ only once before and then by an ex-girlfriend, but she had no other evidence to believe it. Ryn was calm and gentle with everyone. At most, she would be cold for a day or two, then ease up.
Marianne sat up, covering herself loosely with the robe. Her body might still be languid, but her attitude, following on from her mind, was incisive. Ryn thought that she had never looked so beautiful. The thought was like pain to her.
“Okay, Ryn…so I’ll get to what happened in the spanking later, but you know what this is, don’t you? It’s what we have not talked about: commitment. I was paranoid that you were up against your 2-3 year girlfriend limit and so I provoked you at the fire –and you have since refused to talk about that and I don’t know why. I think we should talk about it, don’t you?”
Tears were still trickling down Ryn’s face. She nodded silently, ramming her hands between her thighs and bowing her head.
“I provoked you, Ryn, not consciously, but I guess I wanted this conversation. It does not excuse you, though.”
“No… I know.” Ryn wiped her tears on her sleeve.
“Do you want us to break up?”
Anni looked at Ryn, watching the agony of being so totally skewered torment her, but refused to give way. She wouldn’t lose the edge she had now. She shifted on the towel, briefly loving how the cold soothed new areas of skin, but then tiring of it, she stood, folded the towel carefully and took it over to the washstand. They were in such foreign territory now that she was glad to use the movement to break the tension she was feeling.
Returning, she re-seated herself in front of her lover, who had not moved. And yet… even with this situation, everything about Ryn was deeply familiar.
“Well… What is that about? I’m not allowed to get jealous when you are talking to a wealthy, available lesbian with a huge-ass garden and the coolest truck in town? Or…. I’m not allowed to say to your friends I know you like they will never know you and you love my ass for it? Or… I’m not allowed to ask you if you are in this for the long haul or you want a get out with some dyke at a party?”
“That one. I…”
“The one who beat you and left you when you were eleven years old?”
She watched Ryn crumbling, disappearing into hurt, rejection, loneliness – into the Ryn she used to be. Into the frozen, rigid and unforgiving woman who used to just quietly beat herself up most of all. The tears had stopped falling: before she met Marianne, Aeryn could not cry at all. Anni had taught her how to cry and how to still be safe. Again the sleeve raked roughly over her eyes, drying what was left of them.
“He’s no excuse – not for what I did to you.”
Anni reached for her, hauling Ryn into her naked body, wrapping her arms and legs and robe and anything else that she could around her, holding her tightly, as close as she could. Totally embraced, Ryn trembled uncontrollably. “I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you.”
Anni just cradled her against her breasts, running soothing fingers through her dark hair.
“He’s not you, Honey. You are not like him. I know you: Darlin’ you would have stopped if I asked you to, I know you would… But …when your dad left, Ryn, all those years ago, it was wrong. What he did was wrong and you should be angry about that…. Sweetheart, at the fire, really indirectly, subconsciously, I was asking you to stay… I was getting jealous at Beth… I was asking if…”
“I’m gonna run out on you like he did us?”
“Yeah… and when you realized that just now, you got really angry, but you’re not mad at me, are you? You’re mad at him. You do want to be with me.”
“Yes – Oh –fuck.” Ryn pressed her forehead to Anni's breastbone, her body rigid in the shock of self-discovery and Anni felt, rather than heard, Ryn’s tears dripping onto her belly.
“He left and it was my fault.”
Marianne rubbed her back gently. “It wasn’t your fault, Honey.” Ryn’s tears fell in an intense burst before she deliberately stopped them again, angry at herself.
“I’m so sorry – that’s no excuse either.”
Anni rocked her head back, so she could look at Ryn through the tears.
“You are so right. There is no excuse for your loss of control and I’m going to have to spank your ass now too.”
Her partner looked up hopefully, longing to lose herself in immediate physicality and get away from a much more deeply rooted pain. One she would rather not look at for very long.
Anni laughed. “Nooo… not now. For one thing, we’re not done talking about this yet and for another, you still intend to ride your bike to work every day, right?” Ryn nodded. “And you have to oversee the tree surgery out at the Wilkinson’s place on Thursday, too, yeah?” This time Ryn’s nod was more of a scowl. “So, Darling, I am not going to impair your ability to do both safely and, since the only other option is to spank you far too lightly, which you really wouldn’t want, would you?” Reluctantly, Ryn shook her head, embarrassed. “You are going to have to wait till the weekend.”
She watched the consternation in Ryn’s face.
“But… but… I don’t have to climb any trees myself and I could take the pick-up and…” Ryn fidgeted with a seam on Anni’s robe.
“And my rules.” Marianne touched her hand. “No. I will deal with you on Saturday. Darling, we can talk about your dad: in fact this week, you will talk to me about him and you, and maybe me and you, and commitment and everything… and if it seems that you need to, I want you to consider talking to a therapist too. Will you do that?”
Ryn sighed. It was the one thing she would hate to do most in the entire world, but for Marianne, who still held her pressed to her naked skin, she would do anything. She kissed the space between Anni’s breasts.
“Yes.” Another kiss. “How about… you just follow the rules now… and get the spanking over with.” She licked the side of Anni’s nipple. “And I will still do …anything you want.” Her tongue passed over the top of it.
Marianne allowed the touches for a moment, her breath catching, her breasts heaving in pleasure.
She stroked Ryn’s cheek, getting her attention, gently pushing her girlfriend away, just enough so she had her full attention.
“How about you get used to the fact that you are not in control anymore?” Ryn’s eyes widened in shock.
“Now, sit back. I want you to listen to me because this is how it will be… Next Saturday morning at 10 a.m. you will wait in here for me: just as you made me wait, except all you will be wearing is the lingerie I gave you for Christmas. Just the knickers. Nothing else. And you will lay yourself down, Darling, bending over the end of our bed and think about the fact that I am going to spank you – and why I have to. About your loss of control and your anger. I won’t be up for a while, but I may check in on you.”
She watched Ryn, blinking, trying to take in the shift in power.
“In my own time and in my own way, I am going to spank you and all this week, you’d better think about it, because it’s about more than the extra out-of-control swats you gave me. I know we have a rule – those three swats will be multiplied and applied with the full-length paddle to your sorry ass. I will take my time with it and I expect your submission, Ryn. I know this is what you want and what you feel you deserve…”
“…but then, afterwards, when you’ve cooled down a little bit, because it’s easier on me, and it’ll be way more effective too, I’m going to smack your bottom with my palm… and that bit will be from me to you… It’s the part of your punishment which is about me and not you. Okay?”
Again Ryn nodded, blushing.
“So… when I come into the bedroom on Saturday morning, I will ask you to lower your underwear for me, as you are lying there, and now you know what is going to happen, this will be a sign of your acceptance and your submission, but I still want you to listen to what I have to say to you as you wait for me to begin and I want you to respond to me, and obey me until we are done. Is that understood?”
“Darling.” Ryn half-rolled her eyes to herself, but the word she had been resisting was prompted out of her by her partner’s stern resolve. Suddenly the school teacher was very much in evidence and Ryn was being forced to toe a very unfamiliar line.
“Yes… Ma’am. Yes, Marianne…Ma’am.”
“And you agree?”
Anni watched her squirming. It’s all part of it, Darling. But Aeryn’s sullen, embarrassed expression filled her with love too. She is, at least, trying to succumb; it’s so hard for her. This is going to be a work in progress.
“Thank you. Now…” Marianne reached for Ryn’s belt and pulled her lover to her knees, unbuckling it as she did so and freeing it to fall to the floor behind Ryn. Her fingers unbuttoned the brass popper at the waist, unzipping her while her lips possessed Ryn’s in a hot sweet kiss. Anni’s palms swept inside both the jeans and Ryn’s black Calvin Kleins, lightly stroking the muscled buttocks. Her lover was shivering beneath her kiss. She pulled Ryn closer still.
“I guess, till we’re done on Saturday, these buns are mine to do with as I please… all week.” For a while they were lost in kissing while Anni’s fingers teased between Ryn's cheeks, curling inside her gusset, working the panties away from her lover’s body, “an’ Darlin’ – I do have such plans for them.”
Both garments were stripped down Ryn’s thighs and Anni was moving out of her robe and backwards up the bed, drawing Ryn with her, to cover her with her body and to kiss her.
In between kisses, Anni said, “I want you with the strap-on… I want …you …to stroke me… slowly… very… mmm… slowly and every time you thrust all the way in, deep inside me, I’m going to swat your ass with this maple paddle you left lying around…”
Ryn laughed. “Mmmm… But, Honey, if you need me to fuck you faster – that might be a very counter-productive technique for you.” She sucked on Marianne’s nipple.
Anni drew her back to her, smiling up at Ryn. “No it won’t. Trust me. By the time I’ve finished with you, the only production going on here will be the biggest orgasm you’ve ever had in your life.” She swatted a bare cheek playfully. “Now get yourself organized and get back here.”
Ryn just looked down at Marianne, love pouring out of her. “Is this supposed to be part of my punishment?’Cuz… I gotta tell you…”
Marianne swatted her again. “No… this is my reward for being so good when you spanked me. I do deserve one you know… umm, another one, and it’s our celebration too… because I just know we are going to be all right, Ryn. We are going to make it.”
…Ye ask me, friends
When I began to love. How should I tell you?
This is the sum of my knowledge: that my love grew
with myself - say rather - love itself was my growth.
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